Managers that suck
Friday, 7 February 2003
Today, Brainbox goes deep into the corporate jungle in search of the worst examples of the species in-chargious horribilus. In other words, we're looking for archetypes of managers that suck. There are too many sub-species to provide a completely comprehensive guide in our limited space. We think we've picked some of the nastiest ones though. For the sake of simplicity, we use the words he/him or guy to identify the creature in question. Readers should be aware that female specimens can be just as dangerous and annoying as males. So without further ado, here are some examples.
The control freak
The fact that he's never actually learnt to program, build or design systems himself is irrelevant. He knows exactly how the whole thing should be laid out and put together. In fact, he'll tell you down to the finest detail, without having to do any of the actual technical dirty-work himself. To make sure that you're exactly following his instructions, he'll expect half-hourly updates. And don't think you're going to get away from the project without providing detailed documentation - and he means detailed!
The slave driver
He doesn't care that you've worked until midnight for the past three days running. Starting time is 8.30am and you're fifteen minutes late! This guy will expect you to build a global network for him within a week. His favourite game is setting unrealistic artificial deadlines. He fantasises about whittling down the company's entire IT department to one overworked staff member.
The responsibility avoider
Just try to find out what you should actually being doing from this guy. He'll never give you any instructions in any form whatsoever. He especially hates putting anything in writing. If you ask for his opinion on something, he'll waffle on for half an hour before forcing you to make the decision yourself. He likes going to meetings where he'll sit and nod without ever actually giving any input. His days are spent working on important looking spreadsheets which no-one knows the actual function of. Getting him to sign your timesheet is like trying to nail jelly to a wall.
The over-promiser
This guy's actually a used-car salesman who somehow got into IT management. He spends all day in meetings trying to drum up work for your team, which is great. He regularly commits you to projects that you can't possibly complete, which isn't. Don't be surprised if he walks in one day and announces that he's managed to land you a project with NASA. You'll be using your HTML and javascript skills to build a satellite navigation system.
The stingy git
Your work machine will be a 60Mhz Pentium with a blurry monitor. Your software will be the 1992 version. Your operating system will be Windows 3.1. Don't ever expect to see the company credit card for a free lunch or even a drink when your project finishes. He will expect you to present a business case for purchasing a floppy disk.
The perfectionist
Red pen marks pointing out grammatical mistakes on your resume during the job interview are your first danger sign. His unnaturally neat desk when he begrudgingly employs you after interviewing fifty other candidates is the next. You can expect endless hours of being shown the most obscure errors and inconsistencies in your work . Deep down he knows that one tiny mistake from his team could spell the death of civilization and possibly the end of all life on the planet.
Click here to read about "Projects that suck".
Paul Knapp (editor@brainbox.com.au)
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FeedbackNice larticle, but you left out a few categories of manager: The Micro Manager - this guys is a fanatic about small details like timesheets, punctuality and meeting minutes. Unfortunately when it comes to the bigger issues like correct systems design, good customer service and projects going off the rails he has no interest or abilities. He lets the big issues slide to the detriment of all. The Big Thinker - The opposite of the micro manager. He will buy a new computer system worth millions of dollars, to find out that the software being used does not run on that platform. The details are for his technical staff to work out and not for him to get bogged down with. I can think of heaps more (I've had 'em all) but I have to go do some work! David Cronin, 02/06/2003 08:16:02 PM
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