• Don’t use, “utilize”.
• Don’t do something, “implement” it.
• Let’s not talk about it later, rather we’ll “take it offline”.
• You’re not printing that document, you’re “cloning it to physical”.
• And so on.
  

You’re not printing that document, you’re “cloning it to physical”

LOL

Nice read... I'll be clearing my mind of that technical rubbish I've aquired over the years straight away then and then head off to the designer suit section...

:)

The scary thing is that this is all true. See the 1995 book Job Shock: Four New Principles Transforming Our Work And Business by Harry S. Dent Jr. Was it always so?

It is rather a compliment than a sarcastic remark.

Not bad; not bad at all.

Tongue firmly planted in cheek, you have (somehow) successfully summed-up (some of) my career!

BTW I am surprised that no-one has done something similar about ... errr ... being a doctor?

(just a moment while I'm putting on my flame-proof coat ...)

Good stuff.

Where is Helen by the way?

>BTW I am surprised that no-one has done something similar about ... errr ... being a doctor?

Being a doctor takes more ability than all the IT losers in the world.

You don't do yourself any favours

This is not the forum to warn youngsters off IT...this is a contractor forum and no youngsters are contractors

You appear to hang out on this board to make snide comments

I refer to myself as an 'IT Consultant', because it's easier than explaining what I actually do. Whilst the local quack is fair game, I just had some minor surgey by a very fine surgeon. All this guy wanted was not just a good result but the best result he could get - no management decisions to interfere - simply quality. All he wanted to hear me say was - wow that's fantastic. And it cost me lot less than getting my ageing car through rego and insurance. Too bad 'IT' can't be the same.

If you limit yourself to small projects I think you can get the same sense of satisfaction and deliver what's required. It's when projects start to get bigger with multiple people and teams that the problems start happening.

Hook line and sinker...

Dr Gloomy again with tech complains. Time grow face ups fact stop bitter like rotten lemans. Self failed in IT proofs own loser. Not like Smarts of great like Leopard's and Brownie's great rivals. Neither not smarts for doctor's.

Great Leopard

1AM coder

I agree with Brownie.

Hey Gloomy, gloomy you suck big time.

Why are you worried about a flame proof coat???

Everyone here knows that gloomy is one of two things, a 14 year old troll who has never worked in IT, but is enjoying trying to work us up.

Or a sad loser who pissed everyone off at his old place of work, they gave him his marching orders and now because he is a sad loser he is "taking it out" on the industry that told him don't let the door hit him on the way out.

Gloomy is basically a waste of space, and to be honest I don't care if this post gets deleted, because if it does I also think paul needs to delete every post made by this loser... (using the no personal attacks rule, which most forums, except this one, enforce)

More like 40 than 14 :-)

Oh, and did I mention an MBBS? Got one have we anon ?

What makes you think I'm in the slightest bit envious? I love my current life, I work when I feel like, I get paid an excellent amount, I get to see the world.

Enjoy your 12 hours night shifts... where you'll be paid a pittance. (don't BS and tell me first year Dr are paid anything worth while, I know a Dr in her third year and she is living in a small crapped apartment not living it up)

Doctors in Adelaide are revolting!

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/surgeons-to-join-mass-resignation/2008/06/15/1213468219298.html

"The state government says senior emergency department doctors now earn $313,158 annually and its offer will take them to $355,976, but the doctors want a rise to $424,633."

Doctors actually have job security and are reimbursed handsomely for their efforts whilst IT guys are on par with used car salesmen and don't have the entire world trying to ruin their lives by utilising third world rodents.

Seem to have a level of intelligence that is uncommonly high amongst IT monkeys.

Withheld == IT sucks == Gloomyshoe

All the one guy. Very sads gloomyshoe indeed. Dreams of doctor but just pretend.

Helen and Brownie highly correct. Best one Gloomyshoe takes positive attitudes. Require for success in life. No success to bad attitudes.

GL speaks great wisdoms. Again mates.

Great Leopard

Ah if only a mere positive attitude could make reality vanish. Sorry tried that didn't work. That whole self help movement these days is a derivative of the eastern religions. Makes it more palatable for thirld worlders to reduce western living standards.

withheld == IT sucks == Gloomyshoe. All the one guy. Very sads gloomyshoe indeed. Dreams of doctor but just pretend.

Helen and Brownie highly correct. Best one Gloomyshoe takes positive attitudes. Require for success in life. No success to bad attitudes.

GL speaks great wisdoms. Again mates.

Again, You hit the nail on the head!

Silent Majority == Brownie == Great Leopard == IT Losers.

IT sucks == Starving == Gloomy.

{

Gloomy= sucks_king

}

{

/* it always true */

while(gloomy_sucks) {

Gloomy= big_time_looser++;

}

}

Ahh ... I feel all nice and toasty - now to take off that heavy coat. There. All comfy now.

Now that we have discussed the medical profession (from a certain point of view ...) in-depth, again, can I ask if anyone has actually met the consultant criteria? THat is, the clothing, the meetings, etc?

As for me, being a contractor is all about the suit - not because of my job but so *they* don't know when I'm off to my next job interview.

Meetings are great at around 3PM; you can relax with a nice hot coffee and doze off at the back of the room (the trick here is to make sure that there are more than two of you in the room for this to work).

Don't be afraid to decline meetings - especially the recurring Friday lunches! I have my own 2.5hr meeting blocked-out for my Parma n' Pot evaluation/RFI/etc...

As for the language you can always play bullsheet bingo.

See http://www.companyculture.com/topics/BullshitBingo.htm

Back on topic yes it does happen from time to time.

Declining meetings can be a very good trick, provided you choose to decline the correct meetings, and make sure that everyone knows that you've declined it. It makes your presence at the important meetings all the more important, because you time must be valuable... Also prepare for the important meetings. Make sure your contribution is well timed, cleaver and rememberable.

Yes, I agree. I just organised a meeting and the BA sent me a polite 'decline' because He will be busy that particular day. This makes some plp think. Umm. Gee, He must be really busy. Of course in this case I know the chap and know that he is busy.

I work as a 'consultant' and wearing nice , smart business clothes can make a difference. Also walking fast, even to the toilet , gives an impression of being busy.

I have noticed that the 'permies', in high up positions, are the one in meetings all the time. Some of them are in in and out of meetings all day and they are not consultants! Well I must say this applys to the organisation I am working for.

Big, huge client too. I won't say name do. ;-)

As for the meetings I agree with Anon. Listen a lot and just give hat one sentence and you will be remembered.

I have seen the opposite, where a team leader just provided problems to an issue and she was remembered for the wrong reasons!

Speak little but speak well that is the motto of the game.

what I do is bull$$%%it

my way through IT.

MC

...there are always slackers everywhere you turn. People having all kind of tricks to keep up "the act" to look like they’re "all that".

..so I'm not surprised to find a bunch of them here. I am also not surprised that some of them are among those complaining about not having enough contracts to choose between, that the market is in decline bla bla bla.

Have you perhaps considered that your little tricks are not that secret after all? People are not (always) stupid - you think you are clever, but they see right through you. Next round you sit on the spectator’s bench - complaining about the foreigners taking your jobs.

How about actually being professional instead of just acting professional?

There are two types of consultants - the ones who cut the corners (and create a bad reputation for all consultants), and those who charge for actually improving the business of their clients. This is why some are paid less than others.

If I run into you slackers I will expose you and kick you out of my project!

Ha, Mr B, I never had a problem.

Clients are alway happy.

Nothing wrong with looking professional and busy,as long as you deliver the goods.

Repeat with me Mr B: As long as you deliver the goods

Because delivering the good is what is all about.

.

"Delivering the goods" - now that is an intersting comment. Interesting as it it makes you think if it is really about delivering or to appear as such.

"Perception management" is the game. If you appear to deliver then it is as good (if not better) than actually delivering. Of course it quite subjective and applicable only to those who renew your contract...

Yes, wearing all the flashy stuff and going to meetings is fine - it it appears that you are delivering the goods (or doing something, anyway).

How many times have you seen your colleages work late/from home/weekends on something and not get the recognition? Steps must be taken to "publicise" these feats - but that's *really* trying (or lack thereof) which is what this topic is about.

So, Mr B, if everything is going along swimmingly will you really notice Hunter's lack of real contribution? I'm sure that if things weren't then people who don't appear to be delivering the goods would soon be exposed. But I think you would start with the ones sitting quitly in the corner (doing the work) then the one running around in a suit going from meeting to meeting (to bathroom ...)

But then again, I am not a psycologist or some other quack in the medical profession.

(Now where did I put that coat ...?)

You better get a double coat Laz.

Man, you have outdone GL